A Love Story

Love is patient, love is kind.

It does not envy,

it does not boast, it is not proud. 

It does not dishonor others,

it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered,

it keeps no record of wrongs.

—1 Corinthians 13:4–5

Who in their right mind would profess their love for someone before asking them out on a date?

Dating was not a thing in the Old Testament. Scripture says nothing about the dating relationship of prominent couples, such as Abraham and Sarah, Isaac and Rebekah, and Jacob and Rachel. Their marriages were arranged to secure property, produce children, and honor God.

While it is true that Jacob kissed Rachel when he first saw her, it had nothing to do with love. It was delivered in joy over finding his family relations after a long journey. However, Scripture does go on to say that later, “Jacob was in love with Rachel” (Genesis 29:18). The Hebrew word for love in this case is “ahav” meaning an emotional bond. So, perhaps Jacob and Rachel did have some type of meaningful relationship, but there is no evidence of that in Jacob’s proposal to his future father-in-law, “I’ll work for you seven years in return for your younger daughter Rachel.” The offer was totally transactional.

Which brings me to my husband. Greg. Like Jacob and Rachel, we knew each other for seven years when he promptly professed his love for me. I was dumbfounded. We were friends. To be honest, I looked at him as a little brother. Let me explain…

For most of those seven years, I was married to someone else. Greg and I were church friends; we sang in the worship band. He was a nice enough guy—one I went out of my way to introduce to single friends of mine. But nothing stuck.

Then, in year seven of my marriage, my husband left me for another woman. Shocked and heartbroken, my church community rallied around me in support. Greg offered to house my furniture in his home until I found my own place to live. It was a generous offer, and one I couldn’t afford to pass up.

As a result, I often found myself at his house rummaging through boxes of my stuff that were stored in his basement. Greg was kind. A great listener. Funny. Cute. But he was not my type. Not only was he an inch shorter than me, but he was also six years younger than me. Just a kid.

After several months, Greg started to ignore me. I assumed I had done something wrong. Maybe I had left too much clutter at his house, or perhaps my search for permanent housing was taking too long. The only way to find out was to ask. “Why are you mad at me?”

He curtly responded, “I’m not” and refused to say anything more.

So, I pushed for more information, and he responded in a way I didn’t expect. “I’ve fallen in love with you, and I know I’m not your type. So, it’s easier if I just stay away from you until you move your belongings into your own place.”

How should one respond to such a declaration?

I went back to my rented room, got down on my knees, and prayed. And in that moment, I felt God say, “I picked him for you.” The message was clear, and the words made sense. Greg was not a man I would have picked for myself, but he was the type of man God would select for a beloved daughter. Greg was a committed Christian with strong values, smart, stable, and generous. He was the kind of man any mother would want her daughter to marry.

I didn’t love Greg though, and I didn’t know if I could—but I knew he was worthy of love. Jesus said, “If you love me, you will keep my commands” (John 14:15). I had to try. I prayed for God to change my heart, to help me see Greg the way He wanted me to see him.

No one was more surprised than me when I told Greg a week later that I loved him too. We soon became engaged and were married. Choosing to love Greg was perhaps the wisest choice I’ve ever made (with a little nudge from the Holy Spirit).

I now understand why Paul wrote in 2 Corinthians 6:14, “Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers.” Marriage is sacred union defined by God, and it only works when a husband and wife are committed equally to each other and to God. Love is a choice, not an emotion. Those who say they’ve fallen out of love with their spouse haven’t experienced God’s love because “Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love” (1 John 4:8).  

February 7—14 is National Marriage Week, which ends on Valentine’s Day. If you’re lucky enough to have (or have had) a God-centered marriage, thank God for providing you with this precious gift. If you don’t have a God-centered marriage but wish you did, ask God to make it happen or change your hearts. He is, after all, in the business of transformation. I know.

We love because he first loved us.

—1 John 4:19

Whatever your situation, may you feel the love of Christ this week and every day of the year. Happy Valentine’s Day.

SHARING A FAVORITE SONG: Bless the Broken Road by Rascal Flats

Favorite lyric: “This much I know is true, that God blessed the broken road that led me straight to you.”