Gray with Grace

The young glory in their strength,

and the old are honored for their gray hair.

Proverbs 20:29

“I love your hair!”

This is the compliment I receive most often these days. Though my hair does not define me, I accept this praise with pride knowing that not everyone can wear gray well.

And yet …

Such a statement also serves as a reminder that I am no longer in the prime of life. In fact, I am closer to my death date than birth date, and that gives me pause.

Growing old is not for the weak. It takes stamina, fortitude, and a bit of spunk to gracefully accept the wrinkles, the age spots, and the gray hairs that appear where you least expect them years before their anticipated arrival. Thankfully, God allows the changes to emerge slowly, which undoubtedly prevents a plethora of early heart attacks. I’m not sure I would have survived my last birthday if I had looked in the mirror and found my grandmother staring back.

But a slow decline does have its setbacks. When a change in physical looks is gradual enough to go unnoticed, it gives the allusion that we are still as strong and sharp as we always were. 

I was recently reading about a battle King David fought against the Philistines later in his life. 2 Samuel 21:15 states, “David went down with his men to fight against the Philistines, and he became exhausted.” (This is what can happen when you get older.) David was a warrior, but even warriors get old and tired. In this case, David had to be rescued by one of his mighty men who killed a Philistine to save David’s life. Afterwards, David’s men tell him, “Never again will you go out with us to battle, so that the lamp of Israel will not be extinguished” (21:17).

David’s men could have told him (but didn’t), “Never again will you go out with us to battle, because you are too old for that kind of thing.” Instead, they diplomatically told David that his life was too important to risk losing. I’m sure David saw right through their façade, but it appears he listened to their advice because subsequent verses give no indication that David ever participated in another battle.

I have to give this Israelite king credit for listening to his advisers. No one wants to be told that they are getting old and should stop participating in certain activities, even if they are dangerous. But David gracefully accepts his fate, unlike some other people I know.

Shortly after my father’s 80th birthday, we caught him on the roof, cleaning out the gutters. My siblings and I tried to be diplomatic by telling Dad that he had earned the right to have his gutters cleaned professionally. He would have none of it. Then we told him that we knew people who would do it for free. (That wasn’t entirely true. It would have cost someone something, but not him.) But still, Dad would not bite. Drastic times call for drastic measures.

“Dad,” I pleaded, “you are too old to be on the roof!” To which he responded, “No, I’m not.” End of story. It just goes to show that old age is not synonymous with wisdom.

I’ll be taking a different approach. Bring on the wrinkles, age spots, and gray hairs. I’ve earned them. No Botox or hair coloring for me. After all, if I want my life experiences to be accepted as sage advice, I need to look the part. I am not the beauty I once was according to human standards, but God isn’t looking at my waistline, crow’s feet, or gray hairs—he’s looking at what I’ve become. “Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day” (2 Corinthians 4:16).

Eleanor Roosevelt—a woman not credited with good looks—wisely said, “Beautiful young people are accidents of nature, but beautiful old people are works of art.” God willing, I’ll be a masterpiece.

THIS SONG IS WORTH LISTENING TO! JUST CLICK THE TITLE.

THE SONG THAT COMES TO MIND is Growing Older by the JJ Heller.

Favorite lyric: “You’re growing older and more beautiful each day.”