My Pen, His Purpose

You did not choose me,

but I chose you and appointed you

so that you might go and bear fruit—

fruit that will last—

and so that whatever you ask in my name

 the Father will give you.

 —John 15:16

I’m in several writing groups. These groups are filled with all kinds of writers—fiction and non-fiction, aspiring and accomplished, inspirational and entertaining. Most of these people love to write. I am not one of them. I’m sure that comes as a shock to many of you. To be honest, it’s shocking to me too. But it’s true.

Lockport Public Library in Lockport, NY, circa 1960

When I was a little girl, my favorite pastime was reading. Going to the children’s library in the neighboring town was a real treat. It was located in the basement of the adult library, and it held all the charm and fascination of an alternate universe. Built during the years of the Great Depression, its cavernous rooms and high ceilings presented a mystery that begged to be solved. If only the walls could talk!

In school I excelled in reading and writing, and I still have my middle school report cards to prove it. Yet, if given a choice between the two disciplines, I would choose to read a book rather than write a paper any day. It is often a struggle for me to create content that will connect with readers. Heck, I’m even struggling to write this blog!

So, why do I bother to write at all?

Because God called me to.

When I met Minh Phuong over twenty years ago, the first words I said to her were, “I want to write your story.” I felt like Balaam’s donkey in Numbers 22. I had not planned to speak these words; God had put them in my mouth. But I knew enough to obey. Over a period of five years, I interviewed Minh, researched the Vietnam war, and learned more than I ever wanted to know about publishing. That’s how Straining Forward came to be written.

Once I completed the task God called me to do, I assumed I was done writing. But then He called me to write another book, much to my chagrin.

I don’t hate to write. I just don’t enjoy it all that much. What I do enjoy is reading and teaching and cooking. Certainly, it would have made more sense if God had called me to record audiobooks or cook meals for shut ins. But no—He called me to do something that required his assistance. Scripture provides plenty of examples of God calling ill-equipped people to do hard things.

God chose Moses to speak to Pharoah even though Moses stuttered when he spoke. In Exodus 4:10, Moses tells God, “I am slow of speech and tongue.” This was not news to God. He already knew Moses’s shortcoming when he selected him for the task. Moses had to fully rely on God to accomplish the Lord’s will.

Then there was Peter, who was impulsive and outspoken, but God chose him to lead the early Christian church. Jesus said, “I tell you that you are Peter, and on this rock I will build my church, and the gates of Hades will not overcome it” (Matthew 16:18). Peter hadn’t trained to be a rabbi or preacher, so he had to fully rely on God to show him how to lead.

Instead of tapping Peter to take the gospel to the Gentiles, God chose Paul, a Pharisee who was hellbent on persecuting believers. As far as we know, Paul never even saw Jesus in the flesh, and yet he was the man God chose to spread the gospel beyond the Jewish nation. “Therefore,” Paul wrote, “I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me” (2 Corinthians 12:9).

This is how I feel when I am writing: inadequate, unworthy—and yet close to God. In my weakness, God shines through.

When I’m in the kitchen cooking, I hardly think about God. I am in my element, and I don’t need any help. But when I’m writing in my office, I consistently turn to prayer. I depend on the Holy Spirit to lead me to write words that will bring glory to God. If writing came too easily, I’d probably catch myself basking in my own pride, saying things like, “Look what I wrote!” and “God truly blessed me with the gift of writing. I am amazing!” But these are things that never come out of my mouth because I cannot take credit for what God has done through me.

Jesus said, “If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing” (John 15:5). I find this to be most true when I am writing. He is the vine; I am just a branch. Any buds that blossom are due to God’s strength and my weakness. “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose” (Romans 8:28).

SHARING AN APPLICABLE SONG: All My Boast is in Jesus by Keith & Kristyn Getty, Matt Boswell, Matt Papa

Favorite lyric: "I boast not in riches, in strength, or might, but in the grace of God.”