Retirement

The Lord said to Moses, “This applies to the Levites:

Men twenty-five years old or more shall come to

take part in the work at the tent of meeting,

but at the age of fifty, they must retire

from their regular service and work no longer. 

They may assist their brothers in performing

their duties at the tent of meeting,

but they themselves must not do the work.

—Numbers 8:23–26 

The word “retirement” has cropped up in multiple conversations over the last few months. Every time I interact with a family member or friend, they either tell me that they have recently retired or have set an actual retirement date. Even my husband is talking about retirement, and he is six years younger than me!

I left the corporate world more than ten years ago to write for God. He called, and I obeyed. While I adore being in Scripture for the greater part of my day, I work harder now than when I had a full time job and regular salary. Not only do I write a weekly newsletter for my subscribers and post two or three Instagram videos every week, but I also coach other writers toward publication, spend time writing my third book, and seek opportunities to speak about nurturing a closer relationship with Jesus. Sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night with an idea for a blog, and I get up to write. It’s a constant cycle that appears to have no exit ramp.

That’s why retirement sounds so inviting. I imagine peaceful days, limited commitments, and more time for adventure. Making time for fun is not my strength, but there are several things on my bucket list: a trip to Hawaii, cooking lessons in Paris, and wine tasting in New Zealand. It’s hard to imagine experiencing these things if I’m still working full time.

So, I had a talk with God. I asked him, “When can I retire?” He didn’t answer. I prayed and fasted. Still no answer. Then I rephrased the question, “Can I retire when my husband retires?” Silence. Those of you who know me know I can be pushy, much like the persistent widow found in Luke, chapter 18. It took weeks, but I finally got an answer to my question, “When can I retire?”

“Not yet.”

I wasn’t happy to hear that—not because I don’t enjoy the work, but because I wanted a definitive answer. I wanted clarity and milestones and deadlines and goals. “Not yet” didn’t cut it. “Not yet” was the same as “wait,” and patience is not one of my virtues. The more I thought about waiting, the more I began to panic.

What if retirement wasn’t in God’s plan for me? After all, “Abram was seventy-five years old when he set out from Harran” (Genesis 12:4). “Moses was eighty years old and Aaron eighty-three when they spoke to Pharaoh” (Exodus 7:7). Joshua was over 70 when he marched around Jericho, and the apostle John wrote his gospel when he was around 90 years old. Instead of slowing down, maybe God was ramping things up. Yikes!

And then it hit me. For more than 20 years I have prayed, “Use me, Lord, for your glory.” Through my writing and teaching, he was doing just that. Writing to advance the kingdom of God wasn’t a job; it was a calling. People retire from jobs, not from callings. I had been looking at my work through the wrong lens.

As I write this blog, I am aware of two things: I am about to turn 65 and retirement is not in my future. Writing for God is a privilege. Perhaps I’ll cut back on what I produce in the years ahead, but I’ll leave that up to my Boss. For now, I take comfort in the words of Psalm 37, verses 3 and 4: “Trust in the Lord and do good; dwell in the land and enjoy safe pasture. Take delight in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart.”

Perhaps I’ll get to do the things on my bucket list after all.

SHARING AN APPROPRIATE SONG: Lead On, Good Shepherd by Patrick Mayberry

Favorite lyric: “You've walked me through the valley, but You never steered me wrong. So, lead on, Good Shepherd, lead on.”